Stop, look, and listen. How often do we do that – take time to breathe and be with ourselves? For most of us, the answer is "rarely, if ever." But spending time with ourselves is the first step towards a happier, more meaningful life – and there’s research to prove it.
Time with ourselves has so many benefits – stimulating creativity, offering time to process our experiences, guarding against overstimulation, providing the freedom to do what we find joy in, etc. (Long, 2003). But research doesn’t capture the peace you feel when you are on a walk in the woods, and you decide to stop and skip rocks on a stream – just because you wanted to. Research can’t describe the way your shoulders relax as you sip your coffee on a Saturday morning in your favorite coffee shop. Research won’t capture the joy you feel as you ski down Stowe, the breath catching in your lungs as the wind whistles by your ears. A study can’t quite capture how it feels to do things that bring us joy and replenish us. But we know what it feels like when we do – and we know what it feels like when we don’t.
With life as stressful as it is right now, it’s especially important to replenish and recharge. We’ve heard the cliché metaphor of the oxygen mask on an airplane, and the need to take care of yourself so you can take care of others. But forget about others for a second and ask yourself: do you enjoy life when you don’t take time for yourself?
Researcher Nathan Dungan found that the more we reflect on and define the things that matter most to us, and actually take steps to act on those things, the happier we are and the more we enjoy our lives (Hari, 2018). And one of the best ways to reflect – taking yourself on a date! Whether it’s going on a solo hike, relaxing at a coffee shop, browsing a book store or library, or taking a candle-lit bubble bath, reminding yourself how much you matter can give you the time to reflect on values that matter. Even if you only have five minutes, do something to connect with the best parts of life and the best parts of you.
For a simple, relaxing reflection, check out our podcast on meditation. You can listen to it while you’re walking to class or getting ready in the morning. Looking for more ideas? Here are some easy things to do on or around campus:
Walk in centennial woods
Get coffee (and read a book) at Hendersons or a coffee shop downtown
Exercise - go for a run, hit the gym, etc.
Go to a concert - check out Higher Ground
Take yourself out to dinner
Have a movie night with yourself - get free tickets with Cats at the Movies
We know life is crazy right now – we’re in it with you. If you’re feeling hesitant to take yourself on a date, we challenge you to a five-minute speed date. Make these five minutes all about you, and taking care of yourself. DM us to let us know how it goes! Tag us in a picture so we can see what you did!
As always, we are you, we feel you, and we’re here for you.
~UVM Thrive Guide
References
Long, C. R., & Averill, J. R. (2003). Solitude: An Exploration of Benefits of Being Alone. Journal
for the Theory of Social Behaviour, 33(1), 21–44. https://doi.org/10.1111/1468-5914.00204
Hari, J. (2018). Lost connections: Uncovering the real causes of depression—And the
unexpected solutions. Bloomsbury Publishing.
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